Religion and The Office

When I attend a funeral, wedding, or other function in a church, every time someone says "God", I mentally substitute "Michael Scott" from the television show "The Office". We are told, for instance, that such events are not about the deceased, or the bride and groom. It is all about the glory of Michael Scott. The reason the institution of marriage makes so many people happy in our world today (ahem) is that it was invented by Michael Scott to bring power and glory to himself. Did you know that one of the most exciting things you can have is a vital and growing relationship with Michael Scott? We seek that for all of our children. When you look into the eyes of your loved one, you know that Michael Scott must truly exist. We do not normally admire someone for requiring that we constantly obsess about them. If such an admirable being exists, it is doubtful that being would require this. It is also doubtful a real God would have invented marriage and churches. Like Michael's schemes, they usually fall apart, and then are blamed on the employees. Even when they "succeed", they aggregate power where it does not belong. It is also doubtful that a real God would have written a story in which everyone except for him is to blame for someone dying of torture thousands of years ago. Michael, why does the death of an innocent make the situation better instead of worse? Why couldn't you just forgive everybody instead? So why is his death the fault of everyone, everywhere, ever, when it is obviously yours alone? "Because... well... um... the rules are different for awesome people than for cubicle drones. Sorry, that's just the way the Office works." Classic Michael Scott. Most people just keep quiet and don't puncture the bubble, like most of the employees on the show, because Michael would burst into tears and Dwight would throw a fit. But if you want to make your entire life about Michael Scott, OK. I already quit the Office, so that's fine with me. Just be careful to take Dwight as a cautionary tale.

Comments

ext_362576 on Jan. 3, 2010 3:48 AM

This about sums up why I couldn't jive with being a Christian anymore. Well put.

ext_26596 on Jan. 3, 2010 4:03 AM

I think the comparison is unfair to Michael Scott, honestly.

ext_528980 on Jan. 3, 2010 6:32 AM

I still thinking that God reaches out to us in mysterious ways that we mere mortals aren't able to comprehend or make sense of. We choose the way we try to comprehend what little we can or not at all, ie multiple religions and belief systems. This doesn't jive well with my Lutheran upbringing anymore, at least that's what my mother tells me.

Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2010 9:10 AM

I still think you are taking this all too seriously. As an antidote, I recommend Tripping the Rift, in which God is an actual character in at least a couple of episodes. It is not as respectful of social convention as, say, South Park, but the animation is awesome. ;)

ext_21159 on Jan. 3, 2010 1:51 PM

Who are you?

ext_119840 on Jan. 6, 2010 1:08 AM

It wasn't me, but I seem to remember enjoying Tripping the Rift, too.

ext_341901 on Jan. 3, 2010 2:35 PM

This was amazing. Thank you. :)

ext_21159 on Jan. 3, 2010 10:19 PM

You're welcome!